All Puffed Up

I have a Beta fighting fish. It’s the only pet I can take care of and that my children are not allergic to. He sits in his tiny tank by my computer and comes up to peer out at me as I work. I find him good company. The interesting feature of the Beta is that they are ready to fight when faced with another Beta. In fact, you can buy a special tank that has two sections separated by a clear plastic wall. You buy two fish and put one on each side of the tank. They can’t actually kill one another, but they try to intimidate and aggravate each other.
I couldn’t bring myself to put two fish under constant stress of a perceived threat. But I admit I have a small mirror and occasionally give my Beta a look at himself. He immediately thinks he’s another fish and does what he does best. He puffs up his two side face fins, and doubles his body size. He looks beautiful and colourful when he is angry.
I think sometimes I am like a Beta. When I am criticized I get all puffed up and angry. When something isn’t working and I perceive it’s time to change I see a danger and threats when really there is none. The fear that freezes me and makes it hard to have the courage to change is not real…it is most often a current reflection of me – of where my mind has been, of what I have been watching or reading or thinking about. When I sit down with the newspaper or in front of the TV news, or when I listen to the negative talk at work and the naysayers, I get all puffed up. When I put myself into God’s Word or I read positive uplifting materials, my anxiety goes down. Just like when I take the mirror away from my Beta’s tank. He relaxes and sits quietly in the reeds. He may not be as spectacular to watch as when he is having his temper tantrum, but he won’t be jumping out of the tank onto the floor, either!

Jill Malleck is a Coach and Organization Development consultant whose company
Epiphany at Work provides development solutions that accelerate positive change for
individuals and work groups.