Beliefs That Balance

“You can’t please all the people all the time…especially if the people are your relatives.”
Peggy Grall

Ah, January. A time when we lovingly reflect on those warm, relaxing, family-filled holidays just past…and feel refreshed and ready for the New Year. What? You didn’t have one of those? Hum...why not? Let me guess…too busy? Were there just too many trips to the mall, functions to attend, people to buy for and client lunches to smile through to really enjoy the time? And, are you back at your desk, five pounds heavier, 27 hours short of sleep and vowing never, never to do that again?

If this sounds familiar, you just might be a charter member of the Perfection Party. That’s right, you heard me…now check your wallet for a membership card. The Perfection Party is chucked full of women (often previous members of the Little League of Perfect Girls) who spring out of bed every morning determined to ‘have it all’.

Be honest now. Are you trying to break the corporate glass ceiling, keep an immaculate house, raise brilliant, well-adjusted children, manage noteworthy community involvement, hunt down or hold on to a ‘soul mate’, max out your RSP contributions, sport the latest fashion, lustrous hair and white teeth - and the waistline you had at twenty one - all while deepening your spiritual practice? Come on…is that realistic? Seriously?

If you’re ready to give up your membership then consider re-deciding what you believe about what you really need to be content and fulfilled as you move through this part of your life.

Unless your core beliefs change-nothing changes. To change what you feel and do, you must first understand what you believe. Your belief system is everything you think about yourself, others and the world around you. Your beliefs fuel your mental engine, dictate your feelings and behaviors and provide the foundation for how you approach your world. Our beliefs are - in a word – powerful!

Belief systems are formed in childhood and acted out in adulthood. As children, we look around at what happens and draw conclusions about what it all means; these childhood conclusions become our adult belief systems. And - unless they’re challenged – they remain fixed. The best time to challenge your beliefs is around 35 – 55. By the time a woman has reached her mid point (and you can define that at any age you want) she is ready to take her beliefs out, dust them off and shine the bright light of maturity and experience on them.

So, what beliefs do you have that are affecting how you maintain balance – or not? What’s really important in your life? What are your top three values; those relationships, causes or pursuits that you simply must be part of to feel whole and alive? And, what would be a challenging, yet reasonable schedule for you now? It doesn’t really matter what Mom said or what the neighbors are doing. You get to decide what makes sense for you now. Start today to overhaul outdated, limiting beliefs and embrace 2008 with the clarity of an adult woman!

Peggy Grall is a Certified Executive coach. View her website at www.justchangeit.com